Selasa, 17 April 2018
Hello, Good Bye..
Semuanya fana. Bermain dalam fantasi yang tidak nyata.
Kamu butuh hiburan?
Salah Besar! Aku bukan taman bermain yang akan menjanjikan seribu wahana permainan yang menyenangkan.
Mari sama-sama mendewasa. Aku tidak ingin kamu tinggal barang sebentar saja. Aku tidak ingin kamu pergi menengok masa lalumu, meninggalkan aku dimasa sekarang walau sebentar saja. Sudah kubilang, kamu tidak perlu menghapus kenangan, kamu hanya tidak perlu membawanya pulang.
Akulah si pembohong yang selalu berkata tidak mempercayaimu namun faktanya aku selalu percaya. Semua omongan manis yang akalku berkata itu omong kosong tapi hatiku tetap mendukung untuk tetap terayu dan termakan.
Kamu datang sebagai penawar meski lukamu sendiri belum sembuh.
Kamu datang dengan cerita yang amat sangat mendalam. Aku sedih mendengar kisahmu. Aku ingin menjadi penawar yang baik tapi kau tak ingin sembuh.
Kau bilang aku bukan pelarian karena kau memang tak mampu untuk berlari. Ku pikir semuanya akan baik-baik saja selama aku ada disampingmu. Tapi tidak. Kamu tidak menyadari keberadaanku sebagai sesuatu yang berarti.
Akulah si egois yang tidak ingin kamu merasa sedih karena wanita lain, aku berusaha untuk membuatmu bahagia namun nyatanya kamu tak begitu bahagia. Kupikir kamu sudah larut bersamaku, kupikir aku sudah menggandengmu menjelajahi dunia. Nyatanya, kita masih duduk bersama, melamunkan kebahagiaan. Kita belum bergerak sama sekali. Kamu belum bahagia sama sekali.
Jadi tibalah aku dalam titik kesimpulan, bahwasanya aku lebih baik mundur dan tidak mencoba untuk menjadi penawarmu. Semoga suatu saat kamu bisa bahagia seperti dulu kala. Jaga pola makanmu, kurangi sedihmu. Mungkin aku tidak seberuntung dia yang pernah melihat senyum bahagia yang tulus dari wajahmu.
Selasa, 10 April 2018
Someone New
----------------------------------------------------------------------
It’s 05.50 o’clock. I am sitting in the corner of my room enjoying the sunset. I’m taking a deep breath, i don’t know missing someone will driving me this crazy. Have you ever felt like you don’t want to leave but you have to. You got the happiness but you have to throw it. You found a guy that you loved, enjoyed the time with, respect and make you feel so comfortable but all you can do is.. leaving.
I’m foolish. I know. I’m selfish. I know.i want to leave but i don’t want to being forgotten by him.
<<Flashback on>>
“Why don’t you just stay beside me?” i asked.
“If you want me to stay then what will i get? Will you changed?” he answered. He is fed up with me.
“I won’t.” still with my ego.
He took a deep breath, trying to control his emotion. “Please, i don’t ask you many things.. i just want you to give me a lil attention.. i didn’t ask you to meet everyday, i didn’t call you on phone everynight, i let you to take your time as much as you want.. but guess what i get?? You forgot me, it seems like i don’t exist in your life anymore.. Am i truly your man?”
Now i’m fed up with my self too. I hurt this man so damn much. “You don’t understand me enough.” I said.
“You can count how many days we do not meet each other.. have i ever ask? No! Because i understand that you are busy.. you don’t understand that you are being understanding enough by me. This relation is not only about you.. but also me..” he continue sadly.
I took almost a half hour before i answered. I’m trying to hold my tears. This guy is too good for me.
“i don’t know what to say. All your words make me feeling so guilty. Sorry. I won’t ask you to stay anymore. You’d deserve better than me. Thank you for understand me all this time ..thank you for your time, your kindness, your hugs and your love. You’d deserve better than me..bye”
“i don’t expect you to say good bye but if it your choice, okay.. i’ll go.. i won’t disturb you anymore.. i hope you’ll find a man who will understand you enough without ask you to change.. bye”
I switched my phone and jumped into my bed. Letting my tears wetting my cheeks and pillow. I don’t deserve him. But may i ask one thing to God? Please don’t let him falling in love with someone new. Yea . i’m a hypocrate.
It’s 05.50 o’clock. I am sitting in the corner of my room enjoying the sunset. I’m taking a deep breath, i don’t know missing someone will driving me this crazy. Have you ever felt like you don’t want to leave but you have to. You got the happiness but you have to throw it. You found a guy that you loved, enjoyed the time with, respect and make you feel so comfortable but all you can do is.. leaving.
I’m foolish. I know. I’m selfish. I know.i want to leave but i don’t want to being forgotten by him.
<<Flashback on>>
“Why don’t you just stay beside me?” i asked.
“If you want me to stay then what will i get? Will you changed?” he answered. He is fed up with me.
“I won’t.” still with my ego.
He took a deep breath, trying to control his emotion. “Please, i don’t ask you many things.. i just want you to give me a lil attention.. i didn’t ask you to meet everyday, i didn’t call you on phone everynight, i let you to take your time as much as you want.. but guess what i get?? You forgot me, it seems like i don’t exist in your life anymore.. Am i truly your man?”
Now i’m fed up with my self too. I hurt this man so damn much. “You don’t understand me enough.” I said.
“You can count how many days we do not meet each other.. have i ever ask? No! Because i understand that you are busy.. you don’t understand that you are being understanding enough by me. This relation is not only about you.. but also me..” he continue sadly.
I took almost a half hour before i answered. I’m trying to hold my tears. This guy is too good for me.
“i don’t know what to say. All your words make me feeling so guilty. Sorry. I won’t ask you to stay anymore. You’d deserve better than me. Thank you for understand me all this time ..thank you for your time, your kindness, your hugs and your love. You’d deserve better than me..bye”
“i don’t expect you to say good bye but if it your choice, okay.. i’ll go.. i won’t disturb you anymore.. i hope you’ll find a man who will understand you enough without ask you to change.. bye”
I switched my phone and jumped into my bed. Letting my tears wetting my cheeks and pillow. I don’t deserve him. But may i ask one thing to God? Please don’t let him falling in love with someone new. Yea . i’m a hypocrate.
Langganan:
Komentar (Atom)
Last (Goodbye.)
Hai. Mungkin ini akan menjadi tulisan terakhirku. Atau mungkin tidak. Mungkin aku akan mengambil beberapa jeda yang cukup panjang. Atau ba...
-
Berapa lama sebetulnya yang dibutuhkan oleh orang-orang untuk menemukan cinta sejatinya? Kapan , dimana dan bagaimana alur ceritanya?...

