It’s 05.50 o’clock. I am sitting in the corner of my room enjoying the sunset. I’m taking a deep breath, i don’t know missing someone will driving me this crazy. Have you ever felt like you don’t want to leave but you have to. You got the happiness but you have to throw it. You found a guy that you loved, enjoyed the time with, respect and make you feel so comfortable but all you can do is.. leaving.
I’m foolish. I know. I’m selfish. I know.i want to leave but i don’t want to being forgotten by him.
<<Flashback on>>
“Why don’t you just stay beside me?” i asked.
“If you want me to stay then what will i get? Will you changed?” he answered. He is fed up with me.
“I won’t.” still with my ego.
He took a deep breath, trying to control his emotion. “Please, i don’t ask you many things.. i just want you to give me a lil attention.. i didn’t ask you to meet everyday, i didn’t call you on phone everynight, i let you to take your time as much as you want.. but guess what i get?? You forgot me, it seems like i don’t exist in your life anymore.. Am i truly your man?”
Now i’m fed up with my self too. I hurt this man so damn much. “You don’t understand me enough.” I said.
“You can count how many days we do not meet each other.. have i ever ask? No! Because i understand that you are busy.. you don’t understand that you are being understanding enough by me. This relation is not only about you.. but also me..” he continue sadly.
I took almost a half hour before i answered. I’m trying to hold my tears. This guy is too good for me.
“i don’t know what to say. All your words make me feeling so guilty. Sorry. I won’t ask you to stay anymore. You’d deserve better than me. Thank you for understand me all this time ..thank you for your time, your kindness, your hugs and your love. You’d deserve better than me..bye”
“i don’t expect you to say good bye but if it your choice, okay.. i’ll go.. i won’t disturb you anymore.. i hope you’ll find a man who will understand you enough without ask you to change.. bye”
I switched my phone and jumped into my bed. Letting my tears wetting my cheeks and pillow. I don’t deserve him. But may i ask one thing to God? Please don’t let him falling in love with someone new. Yea . i’m a hypocrate.
penasarannya mi...........
BalasHapus